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What could have been...

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Today would have been a day I could have looked down into my arms as I cradled our new born son. I could have gazed into the eyes of a child dependent on me. I could have seen the future and the blessings coming our way. I could have rocked our sweet prince and told him how much I loved him. Together Pernell and I would dream, hope and be blessed by the creation God had provided for us.

Today I look down in my arms and rock the emptiness, lost dreams, and could have beens. I gaze into nothing but grief and pain. Pernell and I hold each other and realize there is not that future we had dreamed of.

I struggle through today with the hope of tomorrow, the gift of a supportive and strong husband, blessings I have in the three living children God has given me, and knowing that I will be rocked in the arms of my heavenly father as I shed tears and try and heal my heart.

Today I will worry about getting to tomorrow... tomorrow I will see farther ahead... and hopefully down the road I will feel the rays of healing on my face and the possibilities of the future.

Rest in peace wee son.

  1. Blogger Tara said:

    oh Margie, how beautifully stated. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.

  1. Blogger Krista Jefferson Photography said:

    As I sit here bawling - know that I love you, your hubby, and all your kids - those I have met and those I haven't. I love you little one.

  1. Blogger Jodi said:

    (((HUGS))) and prayers for your whole family Margie.

  1. Blogger miranda said:

    Margie, you are a such a beautiful writer.

    I can't believe so much time has passed as i still think about you and "what could have been* almost daily.

    Today, you and the fam will be *extra* in my thoughts.

    You are truly a gorgeous person shining from the inside - out. i love you!

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