As we walked onto the playground I think all five of us had the unspoken feeling of being overwhelmed and scared. While we stood and looked around Lucas looked up at me with his big blue eyes. I asked what was wrong and he said nothing. I said he could tell me anything... he said, "I'm scared." With a quivering voice and the fight to not let any tears out of my eyes I responded as I knelt down in front of him, "You don't need to be scared honey, this is school and you're going to be fine." I turned away as the tears flowed and asked myself how I had the right to tell him not to be scared when my knees were knocking and every fear of anything that could possibly happen was racing through my mind.

As we found the right lines and classrooms, I had a few more tears. Sam broke down, dad went in to give her the reassurance and safe feeling that only a dad can bring... Jake watched wondering why his siblings were leaving him... I went to work and had a coffee, a tea biscuit, and a good snot flowing cry.

I called after they were home from school and found out they had "great" days! Now we prepare to face day two. Today I remembered to put some Kleenex in my pocket:)