Scared
Tuesday, August 22, 2006For as long as I can remember, I have had the fear of my mother dying. Sometimes I have dreamt it and thought it so real I have woken up not knowing what was real and what was the dream. Lately, I fear the death of other close people around me. I have almost a looming feeling of death just around the corner.
For me this is scary... disturbing... I can't quite shake this. I'm almost angry about this feeling.
Today a friend prayed for me. I heard the words as they ran down my body and soul as if water from a shower. It is the first time in a long time I have felt the suttle shift to peace. I'm not there yet... Jesus knows this as he helps me wake each morning and face reality.
I don't want to cry anymore, but I can't stop. It hurts now. I don't want to be angry, I'm tiered of not understanding and scared of the unknown.
But today being scared is ok.
(((Big Hugs Margie)))
7:57 PMI am awed by this feeling you have. Our daughter, who is adopted, will always have a secure home and family and I know this but I never stopped to think she didn't.
I hope the sun shines on you soon.